BibleUnion.org

There is no dating in the Bible whatsoever. If any man asks a Christian girl out, or wants to date her, she must direct him to her Christian father, to pass the father's filter first. Any dating should be with marriage in mind, only after the guy has decided He would like to marry such girl, and the father should only approve of the dating if he has decided he would like that man as a son in law. Obviously, the girl must also have much of a certainty that she would like to marry that guy, before agreeing to date/be courted by him.

In the Bible there is hardly even courtship, but arranged marriages instead, where the Man asks the father of the girl for her hand, the father considers him and her daughter's desires and best interest, and then He decides to give her or not give her in marriage. Before the consummation of the marriage (having sex), the man would typically build a house (or a tent, possibly, in nomad times). The wife was already his (they were not really "dating"), although this period would have allowed the girl to still remain a virgin, if something unexpected happened, and the marriage was canceled. If the girl slept with someone else, and was not found a virgin at the time of marriage, she was to be stoned to death. (Deuteronomy 22:21 ) (Joseph thought that Mary, mother of Jesus, had slept with someone else and that is how she got pregnant, and He didn't want to make a public example of her, and was going to leave her in secret, but an Angel of God told him that she was with Child, of the Holy Spirit, so he kept her as a wife (Matthew 1:18-24 )).

So, dating and courtship should be taken extremely seriously, and ONLY should occur after the possibility of marriage for the couple in question has been well evaluated. Ideally you should get to know the person before asking/accepting to date, or court. A dating or courting proposal should be made by a man as if he were proposing to marry, and it should be taken by the father of the girl, and the girl, obviously, as a marriage proposal.

Now, most likely, if you are a girl, your parents will laugh at you if you tell them that they have to evaluate your potential husbands. This was not so, only 50 years ago, in America. The way things are done has changed, and the results have also changed, evidently. Today the nation with the highest number of "Christians" in the world has the number one divorce rate in the world, and is among the top nations with the most premarital sex. Europeans don't rate as high in divorce because they tend to not even marry, these days, but just live together, and keep the relationship if it works, discard it if it doesn't. If these deserted relationships were accounted for as divorces, possibly Europe would beat the U.S. in these statistics.

So if you are a girl, and your father is clueless about the Bible, or unwilling to help you in finding a life-mate, you still need a man to evaluate the guy for you, because your own heart might deceive you. You don't see the guys that pursue you as objectively as another man may see them. Your feelings, and the possible attraction/lack thereof may be in your way, when trying to assess realistically a potential mate. The first thing you need to do, to better evaluate men, is to read the entire text of the Bible yourself. You can very hardly know if they are right or wrong, if you yourself are unaware of the Bible. After you have done this, you should look for a church that has as sound doctrine as you can find (you need to search, we are not going to do your homework), and then you could commission the pastor to evaluate the guy in question. The pastor must be a man beyond reproach, also, according to the standards required in the Bible for a Christian overseer (called also bishop). (1 Timothy 3:1-13 ).

The best place for you to be found by a potential good husband, or to find a wife if you are a guy, is in a congregation that you choose AFTER reading the whole Bible, after evaluating it on biblical terms and deciding it is a good church, a congregation which does strive to follow the Bible. Even if your pastor approves of the guy, the approval of your father/parents is also very important. In the case of a guy, He should think seriously, before asking a girl to date, if he would like to marry her. After marriage, there is no coming back, for Christians, so you must really see to it that the girl will not be one that you will regret marrying. Much counsel is also necessary, for you to evaluate a girl. You must also read the entire text of the Bible to better see which girls have the qualities necessary for a successful marriage. If your father is a Christian, his counsel is invaluable, and if he is not, still your parents' advise should be considered. Most likely, in this day, if you are a guy, your parents don't really care who you get.

A father must evaluate the guy who intends to get to know his daughter, as a potential provider, and spiritual guide. The guy must be scrutinized mercilessly, since once he marries the daughter there is no coming back. Divorce, or separation, is among the worst possible things that could happen to a Christian. Premarital sex is even worse, and counts almost as a marriage/divorce. Premarital sex should never happen among Christians. A father must limit the contact a girl has with men to only those who He (the father) would approve as potential husbands. Contact with males who the father would never want his daughter to marry, must be supervised carefully. If you as a father don't limit and supervise the contact of your daughter with the non-approved males, and they get to spend a lot of time with your daughter, without supervision, that may end up with your daughter losing her virginity before marriage. Public (or private) school, the Internet, and even the church youth group, or other ministries, are places where your daughter may have plenty of unsupervised contact with the heathen. You can only be heard by your daughter, regarding your disapproval of such or such guy, if she is well trained in obedience towards you, and we touch this subject in the parenting section. A poorly educated girl will get with whoever she sees fit, in spite of the opposition of her father, or her mother, in the father's absence. May God help them girls in such a case. The parents have usually the best interest of their children in their hearts, and they have usually more experience in life than the children, so it is always beneficial to hear their advice, specially in a most important matter as courtship/dating.

Ideally, you marry the first man or girl you court/date, and you stay married for life. This kind of arrangement benefits yourself, your children, society, and the whole world, but when people sleep around and marry around aimlessly, much pain is secured for their generations.

So, in short, read the entire Bible before dating, don't date unless the person is approved and ready for marriage, ready to lead a family, don't touch/kiss/hug/get too close while courting/dating, don't date any non-Christian (MOST OBVIOUSLY), and LISTEN TO YOUR PARENTS, before allowing your heart to run wild. Girls, marry men, not boys. Boys, learn to work and be responsible. Men, look at the behavior, and not just at the external appearance of your target. Parents, protect your daughters, and teach your sons to be responsible.